I was so sad to see Princess drive away. We had some awesome times together. But those are other stories for other times.

This summer was incredible. It was my first summer of freedom. It all started when I passed my driving test in February. (Actually it may have started when I broke up with Alex, just before passing my driving test, but whatevs.) Actually, it’s not really just the summer, but the whole year. Okay, so this WHOLE YEAR has been incredible. I’ll give it to you in photographs, courtesy of the Facebook timeline…

Saturday 19th February – Max and Aino’s Housewarming Party

This was so much fun (not to mention a chance to redeem myself after the horror that was me getting much too drunk and being a dick at Deb’s birthday – I blame Jon).. Lots of Super Smash Bros, Guitar Hero, playing some Chocobo game on the iPad and a wonderful Scandinavian feast prepared by Aino. I love Max and Aino.

Maino.

Afterwards, because Woking’s a funny place, I stayed in the Holiday Inn with Olly, Elly and Bobbles – together we made Team Awesome, which appeared in a dream I had in August.

The next morning Bobbles and I got the train back to London (and he took an extra, unnecessary train to Waterloo where I had to change for the train to Maidstone because he’s a massive stalker and ever so sweet). Also, peppermint tea. Mmm.

On that Sunday I went to see Sculptures at The Forum in Tunbridge Wells. First time I’d been to a gig alone. I wore the Haze jacket, which Ryan’s mum said was fabulous. Win.

The next weekend I went on a date. Weird. Never really done that before. Wouldn’t be the last one this year.

Monday 28th February – Passed my driving test

Second time. After a month of Kalms tablets. WIN!

Saturday 5th March – Get Getty

Charity gig where Sculptures and The Kuntrumpets played.

Long story short – Ryan cannot be trusted around Elly when drunk and Jon broke my heart – the bastard! Nah, I love Jon! It was a brilliant night. The next day was lovely, too. Lots of cuddling with Ryan and Jon. Elly didn’t make the last train back to her uncle’s in Mile End or wherever, so she stayed until the tubes started running again next morning. Standard Elly. She also got off with some guy from some band and got his number. I did something similar. Being single was so much fun.

Tuesday 15th March – Frankenstein

Saw Benedict Cumberbatch’s Cumberbits. Good way to spend an otherwise awkward evening with the ex.

Saturday 19th March – Jon’s Rubik’s Cube Housewarming

This was fun. It was the last time I got REALLY drunk this year as well. Jon’s friends are all super fun and i managed to get a whole new outfit. I think I won the game by being the only person to manage to be dressed in all one colour (ish) the next morning.

The worst part was getting a bus from Hackney to Victoria in that clothes/shoes combo, while worrying that my car had been clamped at the station car park. It hadn’t, but I still looked special.

Wednesday 4th May – Cake Competition

We had a cake competition at work. Mine was voted second best-looking cake.

Saturday 7th May 2011 – Jon’s Sportsday Birthday

The first time I’ve played dodgeball. I hope it’s not the last.

I met Jon at his house before walking up to the leisure centre where the festivities would take place. This was not long before he had his eyes lazered and the first time I realised his glasses were actually dark blue – not black. I pointed out that this was most likely because I almost never saw him during the daytime.

At the leisure centre everyone was appropriately dressed, except for me rocking a floaty skirt and top, fit for dinner (which I planned to have with Bobbles later, but this never materialised – let me explain). Still, I put my all into learning to hula hoop, and a brilliant game of dodgeball, and finally a pretty rough game of sticky toffee, which scuffed up my knees and my skirt (I still have a mark on the skirt, but it makes me smile). I was so sweaty, there was no way I could of out to dinner. I was also hoping to see IT Guy, who I was seeing at the time, but didn’t. Actually, around this time I was getting a bit annoyed that he would talk about meeting up and decide not to at the last minute. It was a pain in the arse, feelings of rejection aside. Getting ready/getting my stuff ready wasn’t a 5-minute job.

Okay, so at this point I’m seeing IT Guy (barely), infatuated with recently-single-again-Jon, and almost going on a date with Bobbles. In retrospect, this could’ve turned out a lot worse.

A couple of weeks later my parents went on holiday and I had the house to myself for 2 weeks. I took a couple of days off and mostly played Assassin’s Creed 2 (still haven’t finished that). On the 27th IT Guy came over because I’d made him a birthday cake, but I would only see him once more since then.

Saturday 4th June – Muser Meet-Up

The day started well. I ripped my tights on the way from the tube station to Regent’s Park. This was pointed out by the guy from New Zealand who ran over to me in said park and proceeded to chat me up while I walked the wrong way trying to find the meet-up location.

He was unsuccessful and I was a bit of a bitch. “Can I hold your hand..” “No. I haven’t even known you for 5 minutes.” “Can I have your number?” “No. Add me on Facebook. That way I can delete you.” To be honest, I can see why he never said anything more than “hey” on Facebook after that. Lol.

So I finally found the bunch o’ noobs and we had a lovely time in the park. We went peddle boating (Olly and Bob both wanted me on their peddle boat teams. I never felt so wanted. Bob won) and wandered around Baker Street before heading off have Korean barbecue for dinner.

I specifically remember looking at Bob with sadface as Max sat next to him. I had my eye on that seat But the scallops were lovely, anyway.

I was supposed to be meeting Jack in the evening to get drunk and dance, then stay at his, but that plan fell through as he got stuck somewhere (I forget exactly) so my only choice was to go home early (boo) or stay out all night. Haze had a similar predicament, so we decided to make a pact and stay out, and Bobbles joined in too.

After finding Haze, having a drink in a Whetherspoons, and deciding to stay up all night, we went to The Rocket to re-meet-up with everyone else. We decided it’d be hilarious for Haze to turn up in my shoes.

And it was.

Some chav tried to run off with his other shoes, but I valiantly chased him until he threw them. Good thing or I would’ve pounced. Ain’t no one messin’ wiv ma’ Haze’s shoes.

I’d never been to The Rocket before, but it seems like every big Muser Meet in LDN ends up going there, so it was good to see it for myself.

Mara was awesome. She and Bobbles danced in The Rocket and it was a sight to behold. A few people filmed it (including me), but the videos will never grace the internets due to Bob-rules.

The others went back to the hostel they were staying at, while Haze, Bob and I had to stay out all night. We seemed to be walking 90% of that time. We walked to Fabric, decided not to go in, went to a 24-hour cafe, drank coffee and shared a sandwich (by that I mean Haze bought one and I ate some of it) and I sang the Dickhead Song when some hipsters came in. Sometimes I feel bad, looking back. Mostly I think it was quite funny.

It got light, so I changed into my jeggings and REALLY NEEDED A WEE. It took forever to find a toilet, though. We took a bus from somewhere to somewhere else. I know this because Haze had an argument with the bus driver. Did not help my wee-problem one bit. Eventually, around 6am probably, Bobbles and I found a small hotel down a side road, which let me use their facilities. It felt so good.

It wasn’t too long before Kings Cross station opened and we went in for Starbucks and comfy seats.

More happened, but Bobbles is on Skype now, so I’ll have to carry on some other time.

Oh, I forgot to mention – Street Yoga occurred for the second time outside the hostel. A circle of Musers did the Standing Tree pose while Ross did forward rolls behind.

My last post was just after graduation. That was weird. One of the girls I was fairly friendly with in the 1st year was very pregnant and talking about working in Boots and it scared the bejesus out of me.

I was on the verge of settling down.. Something that seems so utterly ridiculous to me now, looking back, over a year later. I had plans to move in with Alex when he got onto a masters course, and then I’d have to find a job wherever that was. The plan went further than that, and that scared me, even then. Babies and where are we going to start a family.. The kind of shit I just shouldn’t have to deal with at 22. A year later, that kind of thing still doesn’t matter. But that’s just it – no future planning (not too far, anyway) and having as much fun as possible while I can afford it, and have no responsibilities to get in the way.

Ha! I just noticed – the last point of my last post – Street Yoga. I promised I’d elaborate, and I shall..

I went out to see Jack and Bernie, who I went to school with. They both live in London now, and Jack makes music, so I went to one of his gigs in New Cross. It was fun, and I drank K cider for the first time (not the last). A Spanish-speaking guy tried dancing on me after I gave him some extra bread I had for plugging my ears as the venue was very small and the music was very loud. That wasn’t nice, so I pushed him away. Later, as we left, nursing JAck who ended up vomming all over an alleyway (I sat in it in my Mum’s lovely dress from 1980something) he shouted something in Spanish that I actually learned in school along the lines of, “Guapa!”

Yeah, it was creepy (srsly, the dancing :/), but it was the second time a stranger had, in a roundabout way, hit on me that year, and in a way it made me feel good about myself. Boosted my confidence a little.

Actually, perhaps more than a little (or maybe it was the cider) as it wasn’t long before I decided to try my new yoga-skills (*facepalm*). And there was born – street yoga. This happened again, outside a hostel at a meet-up in May. Now THAT is a good story. I’ll have to go into it some time.

It is a good thing, though… Life getting in the way. I have a job – not sure if I’ve mentioned it. A proper job, 9-5.30, as ADMINISTRATOR for a surveying and telecoms company. It sounds dull, but the workflow is constant and and pay is good. It’s a good company, as well. They seem to treat the employees pretty well. I’ve been there for three and a half weeks and I’m learning things and putting some of my IT sills into practise… I’m happy with it. That part of my life is alright.

Not living with Alex is really getting to me. I’m not even upset anymore, just annoyed. It’s just a matter of waiting, though. Waiting until he hears from the various things he needs to hear from (next month, I think?), waiting until I’ve paid off my overdraft and got some savings, waiting for… I don’t even know what else.

Oh, and the time is DRAGGING. I should be thankful, I guess. Life is short and all that. No, wait… That’s not what that saying is meant to be about at all.

Alex was here for a few short days (time wasn’t dragging that weekend) and we saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I loved it, even though I haven’t read the comics. I’ll try to get hold of them, as I have the money to do that now. Actually, that’s an incentive not to buy the beautiful dress from Trashy Diva that costs $145. I’m not sure how much that is in sterling. Nor do I care as I won’t be buying it.

It’s just that… No matter how girly I become, I always have this niggling thought that.. They’re only clothes. I can get cheaper clothes that’ll do the same job. I could spend that money on something cool, like games for the Wii or books or… I don’t know.. Other stuff.

The one girly thing I definitely will splash out on though, is another pair of Carvela shoes. My favourite shoes have now become my work shoes, so now I need some comfy going-out shoes.

Having money has made me realise that all the things I wanted before, I don’t actually need. I’d rather spend it on going to London, like I did this weekend, and doing fun things.

London was fun. I’ll leave that for another post. Let’s just say: Street Yoga.

I never intended to watch The A-Team, but summer time in Lincoln is markedly boring. Especially when you’re spending the nights on a 5 cm camping mattress in an empty shell of a Victorian terraced house. That sounds far more interesting than it is, but anyway… We decided to watch it for half price on an Orange Wednesday.

I wouldn’t say I begrudge paying for half of a ticket. The girl from Eastenders at the end of the trailers makes me feel better about it at the very least (not because I fancy her, in case you don’t know what I’m talking about… I don’t). It was watchable. It just wasn’t very good.

Come back later for a full review. I’m too hungry to put my confusion into words.

Also, look forward to my thoughts on Fast Aid blister plasters. I know you will.

I just dreamt that I was racing Hamilton and Button around where I grew up as a kid.. I couldn’t catch them so I went home and got the hoover and rode it on the streets to catch them.

Vvvhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

The people at the party – I wondered why they’d come. They don’t like me, I don’t like them, yet we all go on pretending that everything’s fine. I suppose that’s called being civilized. Or perhaps in my case it’s called being a pushover, as a few of these people appeared to invite themselves to stay the night in one of our spare rooms. Of course, this displeased my raging mind and Alex appeared to be taking the brunt of it.

I had been drinking, so there’s no real way to know what was said. I only remember that at some point, the people I would rather un-know complained that there was a sound from next door that would prevent them from sleeping. One of them looked at me, wide-eyed and expecting me to know what to do about it. That had always been the way, after all.

My raging ceased – externally, anyway – and I felt embarrassed to have unleashed emotions within earshot of those people. I submitted to their demands, and on my way heard snide remarks, speculations on my state of mind.

I entered the neighbour’s house. My means of entry are unknown to me, but what struck me was the length of the place. Long corridors, but an American quality about the build. Mostly wooden, with dark, scuffed floors, and white, paneled walls. Claustrophobic in comparison to the comfortably square rooms of the house we appeared to live in.

I came to a room at the back of the house, similarly long, but with daylight pouring in through dusty windows. Along the walls were shelves of glass tanks, all of a similar size, and each tank, filled with water, housed exotic fish. I continued down the room and found another, similar corridor, with shelves down each side and glass tanks on each shelf. These tanks were decorated with sand or dirt, and each housed some form of reptile. It was then, I realised that the sound my unwanted guests could hear came from the many filters and purifiers keeping these creatures alive outside of their natural homes. It pleased me a little that I would have to disappoint the people. Perhaps they would then leave.

I thought of exploring more, when I was accosted by an awkward man – clearly a recluse – with twisted, unwashed hair and a pale complexion. He seemed friendly, so I spoke with him, but kept my guard and made for the exit. I passed a tank of pretty pink fish. At the back, in the corner, one floated, grey and dead. Its decomposition revealed spine-like teeth, and it resembled a terrifying creature of the abyss, rather than of a tropical reef. On my way out I wondered how he had the time to look after so many animals. I wished I could manage my time so well.

I found my way back to my guests, who waited gormlessly for me to rectify their dire situation and I feigned sympathy as I told them we simply cannot stop the noise, those poor creatures next door wouldn’t survive. They stared at me again, in disbelief that I was unwilling to cater for their needs. And just as quickly as I was thrust into the whole situation, the party appeared to be over and I stood outside where Alex spoke to an old friend.

Alex held a piece of paper. I’d seen it previously, but now he showed it to his old friend, the gravity of its meaning fully hit me. I cannot quite remember the words, but the meaning equated to Can’t be around you when you’re like this. The writing resembled my scribbles from childhood, but I had written no such thing. They joked about a mutual acquaintance who had the very same words on a tattoo. They stood against a red car, and I stood on the concrete driveway feeling sick. My fault. It always was. How could I fix it? Can I fix it at all? I wish I could change. I want to be easier to live with, but I don’t think I can. I don’t want to be without him. How can I fix it?

A small green car pulled onto the driveway as I tried to move part of a dismantled desk from the front door to the garage. A blonde woman stepped out to look at the house. A man – her husband – followed gingerly, but was barely there. The woman invited herself inside, Sorry! We probably should’ve called first to let you know we were coming!

I laughed, unwillingly. Had I been awake I would worry that she’d notice my insincerity. As it happened I rather welcomed the idea. I worried about the mess left from the party, but convinced myself the house was clean. If only these poor imitations of wooden panels weren’t lying in the driveway. I wish someone would help me to move them. I wish that woman would get out of my house! It isn’t ready for viewing.

The times and days may have changed, but I’ll look into those as and when I need to. For now, here is the list:

Pizza Express
Live music Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sundays.
Mostly jazz. Jazz and pizza. Sounds good to me.

Hook and Hatchet Inn
Live music Wednesday from 9pm
I’ve no idea where this is.

The Duke of Malborough
I’ll keep an eye on this one. Central location, but not much information online.

The Style & Winch
I went to a gig at this pub last year. Friendly bar staff, reasonable prices. The back room, where One Day Elliott (and others) played, had a pretty good atmosphere, despite only a few punters watching.

Flaming Henry’s
Only been here for food so far. It was really rather good, though.

Dog & Gun
Live music every Sunday
I used to pass this on the bus on my way to college.

The Druids Arms
Live music from 9pm most Thursday, Friday and Saturdays
Nice little place. Gets absolutely rammed some nights. In the summer they have gigs outside. Looking forward to seeing more of this place.

The Hare & Hounds
Live music on Friday and Saturday
A.k.a. “Hare and Ho nds”, but I think they had replaced that last time I was home. Pretty small, but a nice atmosphere. I found myself wandering into here after Radio 1′s Big Weekend in 2008.

The Pilot
Live music on Saturday, Sunday, Monday
Mixed reviews online. I’ll have to take a look at this place before committing a night out to the place.

So the question is, how many others can I rope into this little project of mine? I Shan’t be going to these places alone. That would be upsetting.

I haven’t found the time for this blog recently, with the deluge of hand-in dates. Remember back in January I detailed my busy, busy schedule? Probably not, as this blog is rarely read by anyone. It does get views, but not too many. Not that I mind. This is besides the point…

I handed in my script today. A whole film script! I finished it! It isn’t amazing, and needs a lot more work, but this was only supposed to be a first draft. Hopefully I won’t get too bad a mark. It was insanely difficult to write. I can’t believe it’s finished! So now it’s just that single essay. I’m probably going to write about masculinity in the films of David Fincher.

So today I had the most wonderfully guilt-free me-time, in which I played The Sims and did some Brain Training. I haven’t used Brain Training in about a year, so was pleasantly surprised that I had a brain-age of 23 at (almost) the end of a long, tiring day. I also liked the pictures Dr. Kawashima asked me to draw, so I took pictures.

I don’t think I need to point out that my drawings are on the right. I think I did quite well. I got all the focuses right. Go me! The bulldog, though… It looks familiar. The one I drew, I mean. It looks like a “special” version of something I’ve seen somewhere. I can’t think of what, though.

Afterwards I played Animal Crossing. Again, it’s been a very long time, so the town (Lolshire, I apparently called it) is full of weeds.

I caught a bajillion fish and tried to pick all of the peaches that’ve grown to sell them, but I didn’t get finished before that bloody rodent closed his shop. I also made the big, arsey turkey (/eagle) to say “Rofflé!!” instead of “Pah!” Not so cool now, are you Apollo? And I suggested to the dog-man, Goldie, that his secret bark to call me should be “Yo, Homeboy!” I was mildly amused. I like Goldie. Goldie, with his flappy, floppy ears.

The election gave me a bit of a headache. At first I was annoyed with who I voted for, but I was right to go with it. Just a shame it didn’t work out. Silly people. And this hung parliament business.. It’s kind of interesting. I’d like to see how a coalition works out. Alternatively, seeing the Tories fail as a minority government would be sweet.

Oooh, and the dogs are coming to stay soon! Happy happy doggy times!!

And yes, I realise the title’s proclamation suggests I have a life, when in fact this entire post proves that I clearly do not.